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Post by pristorn on Feb 3, 2011 21:08:35 GMT
Julian tugged his coat on a little tighter as he stepped out into the cold. He withdrew and lit his usual cigarette, taking a long pull as his eyes scanned the darkened streets before him. He had made his rounds through the church, if that's what it could be called. Even compared to many of the other older buildings, it was rundown. Within he maintained a simple chapel for services, a mess of a kitchen, a few rooms for those Julian helped to get back on their feet, as well as his own small chambers. It all seemed so small in comparison to the lush cathedrals and buildings he had seen and worked within in Rome. Yet as he looked around, stepping back from his stoop to take in the entirity of his project, he was content.
Here Julian knew he was doing something REAL. Something necessary and needed. The Church might be happy with simply taking the money of its faithful, but Julian had become a priest because he had truly wanted to help people...
The front door opened slightly, Ambrose poking his muzzle out, sniffing at night air before pacing out onto the stoop. The once-stray dog had certainly made himself at home, though Julian didn't mind. Often it seemed Ambrose was the only creature he could confide in. The dog sat easily before Julian, looking up at him, its tail wagging. Watching Julian smoke, the dog made a low whine, as if it was concerned about his habit.
"Yeah, yeah...You're just as bad as Allen sometimes. I'm almost finished, don't nag me." Julian said to his furry companion, offering a light-hearted chuckle as he took one last puff before flicking the butt into the damp street. Offering a smile, Julian rubbed the dog's head, "Alright then, let's get back inside hmm? We just need to lock up and then off to bed."
Ambrose rose quickly at Julian's response, stepping back inside ahead of him. Shutting the heavy door behind, Julian locked up for the night and unshouldered his coat. Julian still wore his priest vestments, though without the tell-tale white collar. He'd often thought about getting rid of the clothes completely, considering he was no longer a real priest. Julian had never gone through with it though. They just felt right.
"You head upstairs, boy. I'll be along in a moment." Julian motioned to Ambrose, who paced up the stairs, its tail wagging behind.
Walking forward into the chapel, Julian looked over the few pews, worn just like everything else in the place, yet solid and comforting. He ran his hand absently over the smooth wood as he made his way toward the altar, taking comfort in the feel of them. The altar itself was barely that...just a simple wooden table with a red cloth hung over it, a solemn wooden cross residing in the center.
Julian kneeled before the altar as he always did, making the sign of the cross and pressing his hands together in prayer. His voice came as a soft whisper, though the emptiness of the place seemed to cause it to echo, "Thank you Lord for allowing this place another day to be open so that it may help the needy, the poor, and the lost. I ask only that you allow me the ability to continue these works in your name, so that the troubled might know and see reason to want and appreciate your grace. Amen."
Julian remained there on his kneels before the cross even after his prayers, lost in his thoughts and the silence around him. It was during these quiet moments that he wondered if what he was doing might really make a difference. The streets seemed so chaotic of late, polluted by drugs and violence. What could he hope to accomplish?
He shook himself from his dark musings. The Lord would provide what he saw fit. Until then, Julian could only do what he felt right, and pray that he might be able to help just one more soul find the Lord's grace.
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Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 4, 2011 17:58:15 GMT
is there a God up there?
Was Julian even still here? Maybe he had moved on, away to help others in greater need than those poor souls who had to live here in the shadow of the vast drugs barrons who ruled the city. Julian has always had dreams, plans, hopes. He would never have been content, as Phillip was, to rot away in a parish full of people who didn't care about God, whose congregation each week grew less and less. No, Julian was always going to do some good. Sometimes Phillip had found himself wishing, all those years ago, that he himself had had the courage to leave the Church as Julian had. Maybe then he could have done some good too. It was too late now of course, he was well and truly indoctrinated into the hierachy of Rome. Some days he wasn't sure who was the more corrupt... the drugs barrons, or the Catholic Church. But Phillip was not like Julian. He would keep his head down and his mouth shut, and let his life pass him by.
who cares? |
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Post by pristorn on Feb 5, 2011 2:24:25 GMT
The rough knock at the door brought Ambrose to attention, the dog's ears rising high at the sound. Looking to the doorway, Ambrose glanced back at Julian, its head tilted in question, as if it was saying now who could that be?
Julian offered a grin at Ambrose, ruffling the dog's ears with a free hand before rising from his bed. Julian had been reading the bible, as he often did before going to sleep. More recently however, more and more Julian's thoughts tended to drift, while he silently questioned what good he could do for those who came to him. Things only seemed to be getting worse.
It was a short walk thru the hallway and down the stairs into the chapel, Julian's thoughts focusing on who could be knocking at this hour. Allen had long gone to bed. Julian wasn't expecting any company or other visitors. Perhaps it was someone in need of a warm bed for the night. Sometimes that happened, and Julian seldom turned anyone away, even if he did have little space. Ambrose followed close behind Julian, as ever the protector, and more then a little interested in who could be visiting his master.
His questioning expression turned to complete surprise when he opened the door to find Father Davis standing there. It was if Julian was being visited by someone from a past life. It all seemed a lifetime ago now...the church, the studies in Rome...all of it.
"Father Davis! This is a surprise..." Julian offered a smile and held the door open to let Phillip in. He had always enjoyed Father Davis's sermons and lectures at the seminary. Julian had almost forgotten that he was responsible for the local parish. But why come here? And at such an hour?
Turning to wave Phillip in, Julian offered a chuckle, "It's not often I get such visitors in this part of town. What can I do for you? Would you like some coffee? I can get some started in the kitchen."
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Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 5, 2011 10:37:22 GMT
is there a God up there?
The door opened just as he was about to turn away, and he spun back to see the young man he used to know so well. He hadn't changed much... but there was a new maturity in his face that suited him.
Phillip smiled, and stepped into the hallway behind the young man, closing the door behind him.
"Please, call me Phillip, Julian," he begged, laughing a little. "It always made me feel old even then when you called me Father Davis. We're not in the seminary now."
He followed his ex-pupil through to the small kitchen at the back of the house, and looked round. It wasn't much to look at, true, but at least Julian was trying to do something useful with his life. Just lately Phillip felt as though he was merely going through the motions.
"I don't know why I came really," he continued, leaning back against a worktop and folding his arms. "I suppose I always admired your passion. You were always talking about getting things done, but unlike the rest of us you have actually gone out and done them."
He paused, biting his bottom lip thoughtfully, then went on.
"Do you ever feel as though it's getting worse?" he asked. "All these killings, the drugs... the lethargy? It's as though no one is willing to even hope any more."
He stopped again, thinking that he had said too much. All these years, and only now bothering to look up his brightest young star, and all he could do was to pile his own worries onto the boy.
"Sorry," he grinned ruefully. "It's late, I'm speaking before I put my brain into gear. How are you Julian? How have you been?"
The little dog at his feet lifted a paw expectantly, and he leaned down to scratch behind its ears.
who cares? |
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Post by pristorn on Feb 5, 2011 16:06:54 GMT
Julian managed to get some coffee going in the rather defunct-looking kitchen. While the tell-tale smell of brewing quickly filled the small area, he also found and cleaned out two mugs, filling them before handing one over to Phillip.
"I forget how you take your coffee, but I've got milk and sugar here if you prefer." Julian offered a smile before sipping from his own cup, the warmth from the coffee a welcome relief from an otherwise dark and chilly evening.
Julian thought a moment on Phillip's questions, though he often found himself asking the same thing more and more recently. Things were bad on the streets, far worse then that had ever been. Pushing the depressing subject from his mind, Julian first focused on the newer questions, giving another smile, though weaker then the first.
"I have been alright, I suppose, Phillip. I've set out for what I aimed to accomplish thus far after I left the church..." Julian motioned to encompass the building around them as he chuckled, "It isn't much, I know, but I do know for a fact it helps others. Ambrose here and Allen can attest to that..." He fell silent as he leaned down to pet Ambrose, the dog leaning into the gesture with affection for Julian.
"It has its trials, as all things do though." Julian turned back to Phillip, taking another sip from his mug, "You're right about the dangers. The few I can help are growing even more afraid by all the violence. The constant threat of drugs makes it even harder to keep others safe." Julian sighed shaking his head, "Hope is easy to come by when things are going well...its more a challenge when you really have to work to find it."
Stopping to take another sip, Julian found that he had absently emptied his cup without knowing, and turned to fill it again. A conversation with an old friend seemed more promising then another sleepless night, "Thoughout history, religion has dealt with a crisis of faith. Early on it was a battle with pagan belief, then our attempts to define our belief, the battles in Europe, the rise of science...the list goes on."
Julian turned to look at Phillip, "But as well we have a history of achievements over our trials...We have the saints who confronted and overcame, miracles abound and even today people still have a belief in God, even if it is strained at times. We have to keep faith, Phillip, not because it is the easy thing to do, but because it is difficult. The Church is supposed to be a symbol to the common people. A lesson in what can be achieved through God's grace and love. Even if I disagreed with the Church on its principles...I still believe whole-heartedly in our faith, our mission."
Realizing he had dominated the conversation for sometime, Julian fell quiet, taking a moment to sip from his second cup and offer Phillip the chance to speak.
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Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 6, 2011 21:41:39 GMT
is there a God up there?
"Wise words indeed," he replied carefully, turning slightly to set his coffee down on the scratched worktop. "I do admire you Julian, to be so convinced that what you are doing is right..."
He considered whether or not to continue... to admit the doubts he had been having of late about the value of what people like them were trying to do.
"I sometimes feel we are fighting a losing battle though if I'm honest, he admitted at last. "It feels as though for every step we take towards the Light we are pushed two paces back down towards the darkness. For every small victory, there is another violent loss... I suppose I'm just not committed enough to the cause any more..."
There, he had said it aloud, though why he would say it to a man he had not seen for ten years was beyond him. Or maybe that was why he could say it... perhaps it was the fact that Julian was practically a stranger to him these days, or possibly because Julian had made the break from the Church when he first saw the flaws in it, that made it easy to say what he had been thinking for so long.
"I'm lost, Julian, if I'm honest," he said. "I shouldn't burden you with all this I know, but if I don't find something to restore my faith pretty soon... I don't know what I'm going to do."
He shrugged and smiled self-consciously, and picked his mug up once again. The coffee had cooled somewhat, and he took a big swig.
who cares? |
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Post by pristorn on Feb 6, 2011 22:29:46 GMT
"I'm lost, Julian, if I'm honest," he said. "I shouldn't burden you with all this I know, but if I don't find something to restore my faith pretty soon... I don't know what I'm going to do." Julian listened quietly to Phillip, his eyes maintaining their compassionate gaze. Inside his mind however, Julian felt sad at the prospect of Phillip losing his faith. If someone who Julian had looked up to could not find reason to continue serving God, what chance did Julian have later down the road? He thought a long moment on Phillip's words, draining his mug once more before speaking up, "I'm reminded of a quote by Erasmus, the scholar who called for change in the Catholic Church before Luther came along with his Reformation...Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself." Julian let the phrase linger a moment before continuing. "Our faith is strong because we know God to be real and good and true. The only alternative lies is allowing darkness to overcome, and that is just not possible. I know in my heart that we do the right thing in serving God because the light is possible, eternal. What will darkness do once it has won? It would simply turn on itself as it always has...sin begets sin, Phillip. The darkness cannot hope to survive for long without the light to draw it's attention." "My conscience tells me that what I do in this life has power. These things, this place....these works....I do them for God of course, but I also do them because I know them to be true. Humanity has the ability to do great good, I've seen it first hand." Julian grew bold by his own words, feeling the rightness of them, as if someone else had taken over and started speaking through him. "The path is only hopeless as long as we allow it to be. We have to be that guiding light for the people. We are needed more now then ever because of the violence and the pain out on those streets. Yet fear can only take someone so far...this darkness cannot last forever." Julian turned to look at a small window in the kitchen. It was too high in the wall to see the street or anything in particular, as well as barred besides, yet he watched out into the gloom and darkness. "The Church had become too accustomed to its ways. I felt it had lost sight of the real meaning and importance of faith. Not only were we supposed to be priests fullfilling a role, preaching in churches, granting the sacraments...we are also supposed to be symbols of God's grace and love to his children. We are supposed to guide, shelter, and protect his flock, Phillip. The Church has grown lazy and forgotten that we are soldiers of God. We allow this darkness to spread....this violence and pain to persist and we do nothing." Julian felt anger creep into his voice, and he took a moment to push it away. He had forgotten how he had felt when he left the church. Not just hopeful for the things to come, but depressed and betrayed. Letting out an audible sigh, he set his mug gently in the sink while gathering his thoughts. "I left the church because I wanted to do more. I was not satisfied with just fullfilling a role. What I do now is small compared to the trouble I see everyday, but I know it's a step in the right direction. We have to keep faith, Phillip...for if we as priests do not, who will? This is all bigger then us. It is bigger then you or me or anyone." Julian motioned to encompass the room around them as well as the world outside the walls, "The salvation of everyone we hold dear is at stake, and the darkness will beat down that door if we stand by and allow it to." He had paced past Phillip in his speech, pointing at the large sturdy door that held the rainy evening at bay, "I for one will not stand by and allow that to happen, and I know you would never do so either." Julian turned back to face Phillip, raising a hand to rest on his shoulder, "We all have our doubts from time to time. We are only human afterall. Even I often wonder if what I am doing is working, if it has a lasting impact...regardless, my heart tells me its right." Julian offered a smile to Phillip, "With our faith resolute, we can overcome, Phillip. We will." |
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Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 8, 2011 11:02:31 GMT
is there a God up there?
He was right of course...they could not just sit back and allow the darkness to take over. That was exactly what their jobs were about - saving souls, teaching the way of the Light, the path to the one true God.
But if only there was something that could convince Phillip it was all true. He could tell no one, not even Julian, of his dreams - that there was nothing out there, nothing to aim for, nothing to believe in. No salvation, no hope, no Heavenly Host of angels welcoming them into the arms of the Lord... Nothing but a deep dark pit of despair which would swallow up vast amounts of souls as though they were nothing, and still be hungry for more.
Phillip needed proof, but alas he knew there was none.
"I should go," he said at last, unable to look Julian in the eye. "I have kept you from your bed for far too long."
He gestured his cup. "Thanks for the coffee. You should... come to the Church sometime..."
He felt awkward now, almost unwelcome, although he knew Julian would never turn anyone away, him least of all. But Phillip felt as though the black spot oin his soul was visible for everyone to see, and he was ashamed.
who cares? |
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Post by pristorn on Feb 8, 2011 22:45:56 GMT
Julian renewed his smile, nodding to Phillip. "Perhaps I'll do that Phillip, it would be nice to hear one of your sermons again." He walked Phillip to the door, while continuing to talk, "As well, you're welcome here whenever you like. It was nice to catch up a little, and our talk has uplifted my worries."
It was true, Julian felt suprisingly energized, and not simply from the coffee. Going to bed seemed like such a distant objective now. Perhaps he could straighten up a bit. Maybe prepare some notes for his next sermon. Julian's mind filled with so many ideas, it seemed near to bursting. He couldn't just sleep...no, there was too much to be done.
Enjoying his change in mood, Julian couldn't help but notice Phillip's own shift in demeanor. He seemed unwilling to maintain eye contact, and his words almost forced....Julian felt worry for his old teacher and friend, and offered Phillip's shoulder a reassuring squeeze, "You've always been a good teacher and strong in the faith, Phillip. God knows that just as well as I. I trust the Lord will give you the strength you need. Please don't hestitate to come by again. My door is always open, especially for a friend."
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Post by sonata on Feb 11, 2011 6:39:45 GMT
The Unexpected Guest
3:15AM The prophet had been just about ready to knock on the doors of the church when two men emerged. They both looked seemingly pious—the whole crisp-cut Christian getup—shining eyes and pleasant air about them, while he, on the contrary, nearly equaled a thug. Hue stood on the stoop with the rain pouring down all around him and adding a moist luster to his coat. His hood was pulled up over his Nike cap as the rim of it cast a dark shadow over his face. His hands were tucked within his coat pockets, giving off the impression that he might have had something villainous within them. His SIGs were strapped to his sides within his zipped up coat for he had learned his lesson about leaving his weapons anywhere but on his person. If the halfway house wasn’t as holy as it put on, then he was going to shoot whatever unholy son of a bitch that dared to enter while he slept. Instead of waiting to be noticed for fatigue was making him anxious to find a mattress, Hue greeted with a friendly smile, hoping the warm expression would sell, “Good Morning, gentlemen; are your doors still open?”[/size][/font] |
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Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 11, 2011 11:35:40 GMT
is there a God up there?
"Thank you, Julian," he said sincerely, and reached down to pet the dog absent-mindedly. "Hopefully I'll choose a more sociable hour to call next time."
His smile broadened as he straightened once more, and he chuckled quietly. He turned, and pulled the door open to the cold night air, only to be confronted by a figure on the doorstep. Phillip halted his forward motion abruptly, and regarded the stranger warily. Although he knew he should always be the bearer of entirely charitable thoughts, he had lived in the city for long enough now to know that it was impossible. He had become infected with some of the wickedness which pervaded the senses, and while he did not allow it to overcome him as had so many, he knew it affected his judgement.
He pulled himself together as the stranger spoke, and stepped to one side around him so that Julian could see who was there.
"Good eve...," Phillip began politely, and then the stranger's words registered, and he glanced down at his watch. "... morning," he corrected himself. "This is the man you need to see if you're looking for a bed for the night."
He felt slightly uneasy, and realised that he could never do as Julian had done... he was just not as noble as his young ex-pupil. He couldn't open his doors to all and sundry, never knowing if one of them would murder him as he slept. He shook his head slightly, blinking with fatigue as he shrugged his mind into gear.
He glanced at Julian, higher than he now as Phillip had gone down a step past the new arrival. He was loathe to leave the two men alone... this stranger didn't exactly look like a common tramp. He looked dangerous if anything, and if Phillip was honest his curiosity was piqued too. He wanted to know what sort of person turned up at the mission at gone midnight and talked as though it was a normal occurence.
who cares? |
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Post by pristorn on Feb 11, 2011 13:18:02 GMT
Julian was surprised to see the stranger on his doorstep, though he offered a smile at his greeting. A quick glimpse of the man offered little information, as his appearance could be perceived as anything from thug to a person down on his luck.
Ambrose stepped out in front of Julian, sniffing intently at the newcomer. The hound was also somewhat suspicious of any unfamiliar face. Pacing around Hue slowly, the dog seemed to be judging him. After a moment Ambrose returned to Julian's side however, and simply sat down, looking up at Hue with a slightly curious expression.
"The mission's doors are always open to those who need it, my friend." Julian began, an absent hand stroking Ambrose's head, "I ask only that you not cause trouble within these walls, as this is a house of God. I will not allow any drugs inside either. If you can follow this guidance, then I will give you a room." Julian's voice was kind, but also took on a "no-nonsense" tone. These were requirements that would not be argued or discussed.
"I am Julian Winters and this capable guardian is called Ambrose" Julian offered a grin motioning to the dog at his side, "What is your name sir, if you don't mind me asking?"
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Post by sonata on Feb 11, 2011 20:31:09 GMT
Good eve...morning. This is the man you need to see if you're looking for a bed for the night.
As the preacher stepped aside, Hue gazed upon Julian who didn't look too excited to see him. His grey eyes lowered to the dog that approached him, sniffing him with the same caution his master displayed. Nice dog Hue thought. He would have said those words, but he might have made the guy scared for his friend.
Hue's lips stretched in amusement at Julian's words: no drugs. "I had some Tylenol in the truck, but I'll leave it there. I don't think I'll be needing it tonight," he replied facetiously. "Trouble I won't cause, but if it comes, I'm going to be your best friend."
As he introduced himself and his dog, Hue returned simply, "Hue." He didn't bother with last names for he didn't think it mattered. It wasn't his real name any way. "You have a cute dog. Now it's cold and wet out here. Since we got introductions and the rules of the household squared away, are you gonna let me in? I'm not trynna' be an asshole, but I've had a very, very long day, and I'm tired." He put on his most pathetic look. His eyes shined and lips pursed as he looked as sad as an old dog.
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Post by pristorn on Feb 12, 2011 3:03:57 GMT
Julian chuckled softly at Hue's response, offering a nod. The man was obviously tired, and a Julian stifled a yawn he realized he was as well, "Yes, yes, come in. Let's find you a room and a warm bed." Julian stood aside to allow Hue entry. Offering a final wave and farewell to Father Davis, he closed and locked the door.
"You'll have to forgive the place. It's run-down I know, but God graces us with what we need most." Julian led Hue through the Chapel and up the staircase to the second floor. Taking a turn from the stairs and walking a few doors down, he halted. Opening the door revealed a small but comfortable looking bedroom with a twin-sized bed, nightstand and small dresser for clothing. A single window offered a view of the night sky, the only other adornment within a simple wooden cross afixed to the wall.
"Please make yourself comfortable. The bathroom is at the end of the hall. I'm afraid I don't have much in the fridge downstairs, but you're welcome to get something to eat if you need. Other then that, service is at 10 am. You aren't required to be there if you don't wish, but you're welcome to attend." Julian offered a smile before pointing to his own room a few doors down, "If there is anything else you need, my room is right there. I hope you sleep well. I suppose I'll see you in the morning then."
With that Julian and Ambrose retired to their own room, leaving Hue to get settled in.
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Post by sonata on Feb 13, 2011 7:39:31 GMT
As Julian stepped aside, Hue thought, Thank God. He was afraid he might have ran into a holy, pain-in-the-ass. The prophet entered the small...church. Yes, it was a church if it had a chapel, but not only that it felt safe. He hadn't received the same feeling when he was in Jessica's apartment. What he felt was a tangible reassurance.
You'll have to forgive the place. It's run-down I know, but God graces us with what we need most.
"I hear that," Hue agreed. As Julian led him to a room, he took in the staircase, and then the hall, memorizing the interior of the mission. They walked past a few doors before Julian unveiled his room. The tiny chamber reminded him of a dorm room. The large cross upon the wall was the only thing that said otherwise.
Hue gazed upon the twin-bed as though gazing upon a lover. He was eager to dive into its comfort, and briefly, a thrilled smile crept along his lips, illuminating his face with joy. It was when Hue realized that he was getting too excited that he rolled his lips back into his mouth and aimlessly glanced off to the side. I thought I was gonna jizz my pants, he mused to himself in amusement.
If there is anything else you need, my room is right there...
The prophet swiftly hopped back into the hallway to gaze at the room Julian was indicating before he then returned to his bedroom.
"I most certainly will," Hue spoke in reply to sleep well.
As soon as the supposed-pastor and his holy hound left his room, Hue swung his left foot back as his heel connected with the door, and loudly, it closed with a slam. He was too tired to care if the action might have come off as rude or had awoken anyone else snoozing in the mission.
Hue unzipped his coat and tossed it and his cap to the floor. He then strode over to the bed and belly-flopped across the mattress, wrapping his arms about the pillow as he then nuzzled his cheek into it. "Mm, I've returned..." he moaned before he rolled onto his back, his pillow still wrapped snuggly in his arms. "Thank you God for sleepin' and for this place to stay. Please take care of Jessica for she left this world unclean," he prayed and then closed his eyes. He tried not to think about the wrong that was done to her. He honestly didn't know what kind of a woman Jessica really was, but it still made his heart ache to know she had died so gruesomely. He rolled onto his side, facing the wall. If he had to find a reason to hate the night, it was because night brought with it reflection, and no matter how much he tried to forget the incident with Jessica, something within him would not let the girl go unmourned. If there was anyone to cry for her, it had to be him. He had been there.
The prophet wiped the tears from his eyes with his hand as he continued to stare at the wall, frowning at his display of weakness yet knowing his reasons for weeping were justified. No man could ever become so hardened by the sight of death that grief would no longer afflict him. Even stone crumbled and steel rusted. He wept in his silence until sleep had taken him in peace.
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