Post by Bogwoppit on Feb 3, 2011 21:20:43 GMT
is there a God up there?
Phillip sat on the front pew of his church, staring straight ahead at the alter which rose in its magnificence before him. Yet again he could find no words with which to speak to God, and he was afraid. For all the years he had been a Catholic priest he had been steadfast in his faith, knowing for a fact that God existed and was up there, looking down on His children with love and compassion. Phillip had always believed that with all his heart and soul. But lately, over the last few months, something had begun to change. A cold dark sly shadow had begun to creep into Phillip's thoughts, planting the seeds of doubt, and Phillip had no idea what to do about it.
He hadn't lost his faith... not exactly. But seeing all the terrible things which seemed to grow more and more frequent day by day around him had forced him to rethink his image of a benign, loving God. Surely He would not allow such things to occur? Or was it that Satan had grown more powerful in the firey pits of Hell? Was that the reason for the violence, the killings, the corruption which seemed to infiltrate the very fabric of this city?
Phillip had never been sure whether he believed in the Church's version of Satan... he had always thought of it as more a personification of all things evil in men's hearts. But recently he had begun to wonder.
He sighed, and bowed his head to pray once more... and once more no words came to his mind. Instead, a long-forgotten face stirred in his memory, and for the first time in years he found himself thinking about Julian. How old would the boy be now? Not such a boy... 26... 27? Phillip wondered if he was still at the mission, and a thoughtful frown crossed his face. Interesting that he should think of him now, just when his own faith seemed to be failing him. Julian's faith had always been strong... it was the Church he had a problem with.
Phillip stood abruptly, unsure quite what had made him decide on his next course olf action. But whatever it was saw him striding out of the church with renewed determination, sadly locking the door behind him - gone were the days when the lovely old building remained open to all at all hours of the day and night. Shrugging on his coat he turned left, and set off with a purpose towards the suburbs.
who cares?